White Haired Woman

Some people eat to live whereas some live to eat. I come into that,second category, nowadays. I don’t think I have always loved food though some foods I have always loved. Today, my days are punctuated by mealtimes and I am almost always looking forward to the next meal but, not necessarily looking forward to preparing it!

When I was a young mum I subscribed to a cookery book club. Almost every month I would go through the offers and buy another. I remember two in particular. The first was a paperback from a series and contained mostly healthy, nourishing food that could be made for a fairly small amount of money.

There were stews and roasts and desserts galore and I tried out quite a few, though there were a few I never made. I never got close to cooking a meal that contained tripe! No matter how cheap and healthy it is, the inside of a cow’s or sheep’s stomach is a bridge too far!

The second cookery book was a Good Housekeeping publication. It had ‘how to’s’ as well as recipes. How to set a table, how to clean a fish or butterfly a chicken breast, even how to remove a chicken’s bones without taking it apart! There were a lot of things that I didn’t bother with! Also, there was a special section of the book on ‘foreign’ foods of various sorts. I remember, particularly, an American recipe which used corn meal and eggs, and was called Spoon Bread. I made that wonderful concoction more than once! Sadly, I have lost that recipe and, if I still had it, probably wouldn’t make it nowadays, having lost the enthusiasm for cooking after so many long years.

I started cooking meals for the family when I was around 15. Our mother worked full time and often would ask me to make the meal for her, my two sisters and myself. When I was 21 and had had my daughter, I stayed home and cooked for us all almost all the time and went on doing it for those of us who lived with Patty until I met Julian – and then I cooked for Julian, Veronica and myself plus any friends who happened to be there.

In the earlier days I was trying out the stews, pasta with meat sauces, chile con carne, chicken, cauliflower cheese etc. etc. Then, later, Veronica became a vegetarian and I tried to make meals that were meaty but leave meat off her plate. During that period I spent a LOT of time reading the ingredients on packets and tins.That was in the days before vege burgers!

Then came the days after Veronica went to university. I went back to cooking normally for the two of us. Julian’s favourite was my lasagne. I think my version of lasagne wasn’t really very Italian but it was tasty!

Cooking nowadays is a boring chore! I do it because we need to eat, but I always try to cook something that tastes good so that I can look forward to eating it. Most of our meals are simple. We have chicken a couple of times a week, cooked in different ways; we have a couple of fish dishes – usually a white fish and always, salmon; and we have the occasional mince dish which Julian particularly likes. (I’m sure I’ve mentioned it before.)

For the last 4 weeks or so I’ve been on a diet. I’m writing this right now because I was sitting here thinking how hungry I am and thought this would take my mind off thinking about being hungry – and it has worked! (But I’m still hungry!)

Now, down to my favourite foods!

1. Anything Italian – there are many Italian restaurants locally 😄

2. Indian food, though I can’t really eat it in the evening anymore as I get indigestion and can’t sleep. 😢

3. French food (that isn’t tripes aux oignons ☹️)

4. Pastries, cakes, ice cream, custard, donuts, cinnamon buns, pies and cheese – all the things I shouldn’t eat but do from time to time – not all at the same time, I hasten to add! Also, not while I’m on a diet!😩

We go out to eat once a week now. Thanet is full of restaurants and we’ve tried a fair few but we’ve not come close to trying all of them, yet.

What an interesting idea – that someone would have a favourite word! Words are useful, necessary, and sometimes annoying, but favourite? Adults know and use many words. Each word may be a necessity in its sentence but how exactly could anyone have a favourite?

I could say *Veronica or Chloe or Julian or, even, Lola, but I would know that it isn’t the word that is my favourite, it is the being, itself.

What about cake, cinnamon, Pinot Grigio or steak? Nope, it’s definitely not the words but the items. I have some words that are definitely not my faves – diet, run, fat, but again, it’s the things I dislike and not the words. And, in the case of these three words, it depends upon how you use them. If I say, “I have a very healthy diet,” the word is fine. It’s when someone says, “You’ll have to diet,” that it becomes less favoured.

I’ve been thinking about this prompt much of the day and still can’t envisage a favourite word! People who have a strong religious belief might have God or angel or heaven or Allah, Buddha, or, I suppose, Beelzebub (did I spell that right?),

I think what I’m going to do is quit writing this post and go read what others have said. See you next time!

*(My daughter’s name is not Veronica but she has asked that I use the name to hide the fact that her mother writes such weird stuff, from her students!)

From the time I was little* I have cried easily at being told off, reading a sad story, being heart-broken, being happy, and a whole lot of other times including some tv commercials!

Not all tears in my eye/s are from joy, as you can see from the list above. I cried (undoubtedly) when I sat on the glass face of a “shadow box” and broke the glass. (Luckily I have no memory of this as I was only very young, although I still have the very poorly stitched scar, performed by an old doctor who probably thought no one would ever see it, not knowing how society would become much less staid and would usher in such things as short shorts and bikinis.)

I think I must have cried when I was made redundant. It wasn’t that I loved the job. My boss had decided I should be a sales rep rather than the invoice typist/secretary. I should have quit rather than be lured into accepting at the promise of a car if I did well. I should have known that I am not, was not then and never would be a sales person. (I was certainly okay, later in life, at selling toys and jigsaws but I didn’t do that face to face with potential customers – I had a website and digital photos.) Selling huge shop signs to architects and builders was something I really wasn’t interested in and, in my twenties, I was very shy with strangers.

I cried when my daughter, ‘Veronica’, graduated from Oxford as I watched from my perch in the Sheldonian and when my grand daughter, Chloe, graduated from university some years later.

I have cried many times in the cinema during and after films when, thankfully, no one could see how I can allow such unreal things to affect me, if only for a minute or two.

I cry while reading a book and sometimes when I’ve finished. The same can happen while watching some programmes on tv. A couple of weeks ago I was watching Call the Midwife on catch-up tv and cried when a baby was born!

Babies – the concept – easily make me cry. I cry because they’re born, because they are so sweet (when asleep) and so cute and so cuddly and I can make myself cry knowing that I will never hold my tiny newborn baby again, being a bit beyond child-bearing age. Also I don’t think anyone that I know is going to have a baby in the next few years which I can hold, either, which makes me want to cry a little.

Seeing small children putting on a Christmas show has the same effect. Sweet dogs and cats, and baby animals also can bring a tear to the eye, so to speak.

I am not at all religious but when I hear or sing hymns, there will appear a tear or two in my eyes. ( I don’t sing hymns as a rule but when I go to a funeral and there is a hymn, I sing along – and cry.)

I cried when I had a really bad case of sciatica! It was like having toothache, but in weird areas of my leg and foot and it was always worst at night and interrupting my sleep! It happened, I seem to remember, after I had had pneumonia and had stopped taking amitriptyline for a squished nerve in my back.

What I hadn’t realised about that nerve, it must have been the sciatic nerve or one associated with it. No over-the-counter pain killer had any effect. I must have gone to the doctor eventually and was given a prescription for codeine. That helped but only ‘just’ – the pain was there but not so bad. I think it was around then that I realised I needed to start taking the amitriptyline again. Almost from the first dose, the sciatica went away. Occasionally, as I lie in bed, I feel a little twinge, reminding me that the sciatic nerve is still very much there!

I cried when Eric Zerbrugge broke up with me in junior high school. I’m not certain we had even talked to each other and am not at all certain how we were ‘going steady’, but he broke up and I showed the world (of the Zanesville junior high school) how badly I had been treated! I, and a group of girls, followed him and a group of boys, down the street, I was weeping and wailing, very theatrically (though it could hardly have been cinematic! My face doesn’t ‘do’ crying, prettily!)

You may wonder why I am putting myself (and you) through some of these memories. Yesterday’s prompt was about the reason for one’s blog. Mine is for my daughter (who is not really called Veronica but who doesn’t want her mother’s foibles to show her up so she chose a pseudonym for me to use.) Some time ago she asked me to write down all the stories I have told her about my life so she can pass them on to Chloe (grand daughter’s real name). So, here in my blog, are those stories. I didn’t have enough time yesterday so thought I would combine today’s with it.

*ie: young. I’ve always been short though not always little in size!😩

A “shadow box“, I believe, is like a deep picture frame displaying (in the above case) dolls. It had been taken down from its place on the wall, to be cleaned when I thought it looked like a jolly nice place to sit!

Even at 82, I have a few goals. They aren’t long term like becoming a millionaire or becoming a famous model. No, they’re quite short or medium term, my goals.

My biggest medium term goal is to lose 3 stone. A stone is 14 pounds so my medium goal is to lose 42 (or more) pounds. If I had made this goal a year or so ago it would have been to lose 2 and a half stone, but I have enjoyed ice cream, chicken pies, cinnamon buns and have, sadly therefore, gained half a stone or more.

As of today, I have lost around 4 pounds but I’ve only been trying for a week. My meals have consisted of smaller amounts of food that I enjoy and, so far, I haven’t really felt hungry. I know I’m not going to lose this much every week – the first week’s loss is always the biggest. I’ll let you know how I’m getting on in a few weeks or so.

So, what are a few of my short term goals? I think the first is to finish the book I am reading. I read the one before it which was very readable and led to the one I started the other day. So far, I haven’t really got into it and I’m wondering if I ever will. (I’ll let you know.)

Another short term goal is to walk further than I do at present. Most days, Lola and I walk a certain route which takes around 15 minutes – that’s because I get tired easily. I’m hoping the tiredness is because of my weight and that I will find it less daunting to walk for, say, another 5 minutes – leading up to another ten or twenty minutes, later on – when I’ve lost some blubber.

Of course, I’d love to get back to some painting and, hopefully, that is a short term goal! At the moment we are undergoing some major decorating which has meant that my little corner of the studio is taken up with furniture from other places. I could paint in the conservatory but I worry about getting paint on the table, the chairs, the floor. Perhaps I should have a goal of being tidy when I paint!

Next week I’m going to a U3A quiz with some other members. My goal, there, is to remember all the weird facts I have stored in my brain over the years, in the hopes that some of them pop up in the questions. It would be good to contribute to our team winning! (I’ll let you know!)

The following week should be a really good week as ‘Veronica’ is coming to spend some time with her poor old ma and isn’t bringing her hubby as he is feverishly writing a book. The goal is to have some quality mum and daughter time!

Our plans are mainly to look at stuff – stuff that’s been stored for years, like Veronica’s and Chloe’s old toys. Also, books and games and china and bits and pieces that will belong to her when I am no longer here. Many of those things will have belonged to my mother and grandmother. Of course, she may not want all of that stuff and I can plan to get rid of it myself. (Another short term goal!)

I guess I do have one longer term goal – living until I’m 90 or even 100! If you’re still around, I’ll let you know! 👵🏻😆

(I realise I haven’t said ‘how’ I’m planning these goals. I guess making the goals is the ‘how’!)

1. ‘Veronica’, my daughter, who has made me so proud and happy over the last 60 years.
2. Chloe who is my very lovely granddaughter, who also makes me very proud and happy!
3. Lola, of course. It is her job to make me happy, I imagine.
4. Puppies and kittens
5. Human babies – always such a joy to see new life.
6. Things that grow in my garden.
7. Things that grow in public areas – including trees. We don’t have enough trees in Thanet.
8. Cake
9. Really cold dry white wine
10. Beautiful music
11. Painting
12. Julian – he should be higher up the list but I don’t want to change all the numbers!
13. Seeing old friends
14. My iPad
15. Blue skies
16. Trees silhouetted against blue skies, just when it’s getting dark.
17. Seeing bats flying (rarer nowadays, sadly)
18. Good food that I haven’t had to cook and won’t have to clear away
19. Memories of places I’ve been happy (Paris, Le Touquet, Avignon, Waterford, Zanesville, Cincinnati, Palm Springs, Reno, La Quinta, London, West Malling, East Malling, Bath, Wateringbury, Center Parcs etc etc
20. All the little wooden objects that I have collected over the years.
21. Christmases when all my family is here, eating and playing board games
22. Seeing clearly (after having had cataracts)
23. Not having my hands go numb (after having had carpal tunnel problems)
24. Being able to walk painlessly (yep, after 2 knee replacements)
25. Actually managing to live to 82 (so far)
26. Beautiful paintings,
27. Beautiful objects
28. Elephants, tigers, polar bears, lions, meerkats, slow lorises, monkeys, apes, and on and on and on…..
29. Days that are not too hot (writing this in summer 🥵)
30. Days that aren’t too cold (remembering what winter can bring🥶)

I’m not really certain that bringing back a dinosaur would be a great use of either science or money.

We all know about dinosaurs, don’t we? Except, of course we don’t, really. I remember reading about a time, in the not too distant past, when scientists realised that a particular part of a particular dinosaur was not a horn but a thumb – or it could have been vice versa. Since no one was around to see what went on in the time of dinosaurs, how could we know the outcome of bringing just one of them back?

I would far rather spend my time and money working to stop the decline in populations of elephants or blackbirds or butterflies. And, what about bees? We need bees to pollinate our food crops, and also need them in our gardens so we can watch them busily flying from flower to flower – our stopping what we’re doing to watch the bees (and the dragonflies and the butterflies and the ladybirds) is a useful pastime for Homo sapiens in that we can relax, forget about our worries and be a part of nature for a little while.

And then, there are the oceans with their populations of fish, reptiles, amphibians and mammals. We (homo sapiens again) have spent many long periods of time treating the sea and its creatures as a food store and a dustbin, to the point where some fish aren’t allowed to be caught by fishermen – and if you catch one by mistake and in catching it, it dies, you have to throw it back! I’d certainly rather spend my resources on making the sea as clean and habitable as it must once have been!

And again – another example of our caring and loving use of the world around us – have you noticed how few insects your car is catching in your headlights at night as you race down a country lane?

Some day – wayyyyyyy in the future, there might be a being who sets a writing prompt for a group of other beings which sounds rather familiar, but not quite: if you could bring back one mammal (or reptile, amphibian, bird, insect) which would it be?

If I won two free plane tickets tomorrow, I would give them to someone who doesn’t refuse to fly. If I had won them when I was 14, I might have used them as I hadn’t yet been traumatised by the plane journey from New Jersey to wherever it was that we landed in England. But, truly, I haven’t a clue where I would have wanted to fly to in 1957.

I know that flying is safer than driving or being driven – that doesn’t comfort me about flying! No, it puts me off travelling by car! In the 40 years that Julian and I have been together, I have been driven to quite a few places.

I’ve seen much of the west of England and the east of England, some of Yorkshire, Cheshire and Northumberland, bits of the Cotswolds, Oxfordshire, Derbyshire, Shropshire and Wales – all by car. I believe I have written about a few of these journeys.

I have always been of a nervous disposition, possibly because I was ‘taught’ to be nervous by my mother who, herself, was of a far more nervous disposition than I! Knowing that normal people do things like go on holiday in cars, I have gone along with Julian, often helping to plan these journeys but always feeling nervous when we were en route.

I, myself, was a driver for about fifty years. When I was driving, normally I wasn’t nervous – I was in charge of how fast the car was going, the route I was travelling, and the destination. I seldom drove further than ten or twenty miles, particularly when I reached my seventies and when I was going longer distances, I was usually going to an auction which was something I loved.

I gave up driving in the November before lockdown. I was paying for insurance, repairs, and road tax to drive fewer than 800 miles a year. It just didn’t make sense for me to carry on driving my poor old 20 year old Focus any longer.

I don’t miss driving at all. Julian, on the other hand, still loves driving and goes all over the place for a week or two, to paint, while I stay home and am not nervous.