White Haired Woman

Well, I could try sky-diving – but I’m not going to.

I could try skate-boarding – but I’m not going to do that either.

Pastry making?

Milking cows?

Learning to use AI?

Learning to speak Welsh (or Finnish or Greek?)

Training for a job in banking?

Become a cobbler or a milliner?

Reading James Joyce?

Become a watch-maker?

Ski? Shoot? Play poker for big money?

Nope!

I haven’t got to my age doing any of those and I don’t know why I should do them now!

(Though I would like to have a go on a skate-board but value my unbroken bones too much.

CRY!

Then I’d work out how to replace at least some of it.

At my age, I couldn’t go back to work.

On the other hand, my needs would be simple – something to eat, a few clothes to wear, a bed, several sheets, a pillow and pillow cases, a duvet and cover, something to read, glasses to see with, fingernail clippers to clip my nails, shoes, face cream, tooth brush, toothpaste, a water flosser, a comb and a brush, underwear and socks, a nightie or some pyjamas, a bag of some sort, a phone, some Gaviscon for when I get indigestion, my tablets, (amitriptyline, statins, blood pressure), paracetamol for headaches, an iPad, some paints, brushes and canvases, a palette, some painting knives, a kitchen scale so I don’t eat too much of the things that make me grow where I shouldn’t, a bathroom scale to make sure I haven’t been eating too much of the stuff I mustn’t, and, oh, crap, I forgot, I’d need a home to store it all and act as shelter……… I guess my needs wouldn’t be simple at all!

I must make sure I don’t lose all my possessions!

I spend a lot of time using my iPad (a smaller and more personal computer.) I really cannot imagine my life without it! I look up recipes, search for the reason behind new aches and pains, keep in touch with relatives abroad and those friends of mine who have email. I also search for information about films and tv programmes I’ve watched – who played which part? (Ah, yes, I thought it was him! Wasn’t he handsome back then!) or for ‘Whatever happened to so and so?’

It seems amazing to me that I spent the first 55 or 60 years of my life with no internet, no email, and no way of looking up some information that wasn’t in the 1950’s version of the Encyclopedia Britannica Jr. which I still had. Yes, I could go down the road to the library, if it was during open hours but I might forget to bother by the time I got there!

Nowadays, many of my evenings at home are spent watching things on my iPad that I missed seeing when they were originally on tv or at the cinema. Just at the moment I am re-watching the 7 Up series. If you are not in Great Britain, you won’t have seen it. It started in 1964 when a tv company decided to see whether one could look at children at the age of 7 and ‘see’ what they would be like later on in life.

The programme followed 14 children and interviewed them at the age of 7, 14, 21, 28, 35, 42, 56 and 63. I had missed the most recent programmes and was quite keen to see what had happened to those people. I’ve watched the first 2 of the 3 in the series and will likely watch the third later this evening.

Without a computer, my life would be very different and I’m glad to say that I don’t know what it would look like!

I like music. I like almost every kind of music. After 82 years of listening to music, I have gone from Elvis Presley to Elgar and Ricky Nelson to Rachmaninov – and lots of in-between music.

The first record I bought, a 45 for those who know their vinyl, was Jailhouse Rock. How was I to know that leaving it in the back of the car on that shelf next to the rear window, wasn’t a good idea?

I also bought Why do Fools Fall in Love by Frankie Lymon and the Teenagers. By the time I left America I had around 40 or 50 45s and I added a few more in the next few years. One of my favourites was Conway Twitty’s It’s Only Make Believe and another was Jackie Wilson.

In my 20s I was quite busy being a mum but I took the time to listen to music on the radio and watch Top of the Pops. I was quite fond of The Beatles, loved The Rolling Stones and enjoyed many of the pop songs of the 60’s and 70’s.

Then, I heard some Mozart! At every chance I got, I listened to Mozart concertos and symphonies and also some Vivaldi, and other, lesser known Baroque composers. At some point during the 90s, a new station on the radio brought me loads more classical music: – Classic fm. I listened to it all day and heard so much more classical music. It became difficult to say who my favourite composer was. Sometimes it was Hummel, occasionally Buxtehude!

At the same time as this new (old) music was educating me in new (to me) sounds, I had, first a teen-age daughter who watched the 80s version of Top of the Pops, introducing me to Boy George, Soft Cell, The Police, Phil Collins and more, then in the mid 90s a new grandchild who, within a few years was introducing me to Eminem, Avril Lavigne and Nelly.

I’ve forgotten most of those songs and their singers now and hardly ever listen to whatever followed the term ‘pop‘. Occasionally I hear something new on the radio which I add to my ‘must listen out for’ list which, over the last 20 or so years, has included Paloma Faith, Duffy, Adele, Alicia Keys also Gnarls Barclay, Pink, Passenger, and loads more. I’ve bought CDs and now I stream music from Amazon, but often I sit in complete silence – which I enjoy.

I would hate not to have music of all kinds in my life (with a few exceptions!) but I would also hate to have to listen to it 24 hours a day! I like quiet, I like solitude, but I also like to dance! and, when I hear some music I think I can dance to, I go into the kitchen, where nobody can see me and pretend that I am young and dance – until I have to sit down, which sadly isn’t too long, nowadays.

When I was a sixteen year old girl, living in London and going to school at the USAF base in Bushey Park, I had three month long summer holidays. Between my sophomore and junior years I joined a few other American students and worked for several weeks at the International Food Fair which took place in the Olympia Exhibition Halls.

There were, I think, different areas for different nationalities but the only one I can remember is the American stands so, maybe it was only the American Food Fair – it’s so long ago I just can’t remember for sure. I was lucky enough (I thought) to be working on the Betty Crocker stand.

It was our job to stand behind the counter on a stage and mix a cake or other dessert from a packet of a Betty Crocker cake mix, showing how easy it is to make these fantastic items.

One morning, I decided to make a packet of Date Bars. This was an item that I had made before at home several times – and I always enjoyed trying the finished article! So, I introduced the mix, showing the two bags inside the box. One of the bags, the largest, contained the base mix which was oatie and delicious.

To the contents of the bag, I imagine I had to add some melted butter or margerine, then to press half the mixture into the cake tin. When that was done, I had to add, perhaps warm water – I just don’t remember – to the smaller bag of the pair, which was an amount of dates, probably cut up into tiny pieces.

The trouble was that, at the time, on that particular day, I didn’t remember, either! I remember adding something to the date mix but it wasn’t the right thing or it wasn’t enough of the right thing! There I stood, in front of quite a large audience, supposedly showing them how easy this mix was to make and it was anything but easy. The date mix was supposed to be spread over the base but it wouldn’t spread and it wouldn’t come off the spoon I was using to pick it up and it wouldn’t come off my fingers and I just kept trying and trying and……. finally had to admit to all the people standing there, that I had done something wrong somewhere along the way.

I think I must have been very close to tears! I have forgotten how I got off that stage into the area where the audience couldn’t see me. I’m not certain that I went back on that stage again, though I probably did, as the job paid quite well and, anyway, the same people wouldn’t pay to come and see me do it again. Would they?

Some people eat to live whereas some live to eat. I come into that,second category, nowadays. I don’t think I have always loved food though some foods I have always loved. Today, my days are punctuated by mealtimes and I am almost always looking forward to the next meal but, not necessarily looking forward to preparing it!

When I was a young mum I subscribed to a cookery book club. Almost every month I would go through the offers and buy another. I remember two in particular. The first was a paperback from a series and contained mostly healthy, nourishing food that could be made for a fairly small amount of money.

There were stews and roasts and desserts galore and I tried out quite a few, though there were a few I never made. I never got close to cooking a meal that contained tripe! No matter how cheap and healthy it is, the inside of a cow’s or sheep’s stomach is a bridge too far!

The second cookery book was a Good Housekeeping publication. It had ‘how to’s’ as well as recipes. How to set a table, how to clean a fish or butterfly a chicken breast, even how to remove a chicken’s bones without taking it apart! There were a lot of things that I didn’t bother with! Also, there was a special section of the book on ‘foreign’ foods of various sorts. I remember, particularly, an American recipe which used corn meal and eggs, and was called Spoon Bread. I made that wonderful concoction more than once! Sadly, I have lost that recipe and, if I still had it, probably wouldn’t make it nowadays, having lost the enthusiasm for cooking after so many long years.

I started cooking meals for the family when I was around 15. Our mother worked full time and often would ask me to make the meal for her, my two sisters and myself. When I was 21 and had had my daughter, I stayed home and cooked for us all almost all the time and went on doing it for those of us who lived with Patty until I met Julian – and then I cooked for Julian, Veronica and myself plus any friends who happened to be there.

In the earlier days I was trying out the stews, pasta with meat sauces, chile con carne, chicken, cauliflower cheese etc. etc. Then, later, Veronica became a vegetarian and I tried to make meals that were meaty but leave meat off her plate. During that period I spent a LOT of time reading the ingredients on packets and tins.That was in the days before vege burgers!

Then came the days after Veronica went to university. I went back to cooking normally for the two of us. Julian’s favourite was my lasagne. I think my version of lasagne wasn’t really very Italian but it was tasty!

Cooking nowadays is a boring chore! I do it because we need to eat, but I always try to cook something that tastes good so that I can look forward to eating it. Most of our meals are simple. We have chicken a couple of times a week, cooked in different ways; we have a couple of fish dishes – usually a white fish and always, salmon; and we have the occasional mince dish which Julian particularly likes. (I’m sure I’ve mentioned it before.)

For the last 4 weeks or so I’ve been on a diet. I’m writing this right now because I was sitting here thinking how hungry I am and thought this would take my mind off thinking about being hungry – and it has worked! (But I’m still hungry!)

Now, down to my favourite foods!

1. Anything Italian – there are many Italian restaurants locally 😄

2. Indian food, though I can’t really eat it in the evening anymore as I get indigestion and can’t sleep. 😢

3. French food (that isn’t tripes aux oignons ☹️)

4. Pastries, cakes, ice cream, custard, donuts, cinnamon buns, pies and cheese – all the things I shouldn’t eat but do from time to time – not all at the same time, I hasten to add! Also, not while I’m on a diet!😩

We go out to eat once a week now. Thanet is full of restaurants and we’ve tried a fair few but we’ve not come close to trying all of them, yet.

What an interesting idea – that someone would have a favourite word! Words are useful, necessary, and sometimes annoying, but favourite? Adults know and use many words. Each word may be a necessity in its sentence but how exactly could anyone have a favourite?

I could say *Veronica or Chloe or Julian or, even, Lola, but I would know that it isn’t the word that is my favourite, it is the being, itself.

What about cake, cinnamon, Pinot Grigio or steak? Nope, it’s definitely not the words but the items. I have some words that are definitely not my faves – diet, run, fat, but again, it’s the things I dislike and not the words. And, in the case of these three words, it depends upon how you use them. If I say, “I have a very healthy diet,” the word is fine. It’s when someone says, “You’ll have to diet,” that it becomes less favoured.

I’ve been thinking about this prompt much of the day and still can’t envisage a favourite word! People who have a strong religious belief might have God or angel or heaven or Allah, Buddha, or, I suppose, Beelzebub (did I spell that right?),

I think what I’m going to do is quit writing this post and go read what others have said. See you next time!

*(My daughter’s name is not Veronica but she has asked that I use the name to hide the fact that her mother writes such weird stuff, from her students!)

From the time I was little* I have cried easily at being told off, reading a sad story, being heart-broken, being happy, and a whole lot of other times including some tv commercials!

Not all tears in my eye/s are from joy, as you can see from the list above. I cried (undoubtedly) when I sat on the glass face of a “shadow box” and broke the glass. (Luckily I have no memory of this as I was only very young, although I still have the very poorly stitched scar, performed by an old doctor who probably thought no one would ever see it, not knowing how society would become much less staid and would usher in such things as short shorts and bikinis.)

I think I must have cried when I was made redundant. It wasn’t that I loved the job. My boss had decided I should be a sales rep rather than the invoice typist/secretary. I should have quit rather than be lured into accepting at the promise of a car if I did well. I should have known that I am not, was not then and never would be a sales person. (I was certainly okay, later in life, at selling toys and jigsaws but I didn’t do that face to face with potential customers – I had a website and digital photos.) Selling huge shop signs to architects and builders was something I really wasn’t interested in and, in my twenties, I was very shy with strangers.

I cried when my daughter, ‘Veronica’, graduated from Oxford as I watched from my perch in the Sheldonian and when my grand daughter, Chloe, graduated from university some years later.

I have cried many times in the cinema during and after films when, thankfully, no one could see how I can allow such unreal things to affect me, if only for a minute or two.

I cry while reading a book and sometimes when I’ve finished. The same can happen while watching some programmes on tv. A couple of weeks ago I was watching Call the Midwife on catch-up tv and cried when a baby was born!

Babies – the concept – easily make me cry. I cry because they’re born, because they are so sweet (when asleep) and so cute and so cuddly and I can make myself cry knowing that I will never hold my tiny newborn baby again, being a bit beyond child-bearing age. Also I don’t think anyone that I know is going to have a baby in the next few years which I can hold, either, which makes me want to cry a little.

Seeing small children putting on a Christmas show has the same effect. Sweet dogs and cats, and baby animals also can bring a tear to the eye, so to speak.

I am not at all religious but when I hear or sing hymns, there will appear a tear or two in my eyes. ( I don’t sing hymns as a rule but when I go to a funeral and there is a hymn, I sing along – and cry.)

I cried when I had a really bad case of sciatica! It was like having toothache, but in weird areas of my leg and foot and it was always worst at night and interrupting my sleep! It happened, I seem to remember, after I had had pneumonia and had stopped taking amitriptyline for a squished nerve in my back.

What I hadn’t realised about that nerve, it must have been the sciatic nerve or one associated with it. No over-the-counter pain killer had any effect. I must have gone to the doctor eventually and was given a prescription for codeine. That helped but only ‘just’ – the pain was there but not so bad. I think it was around then that I realised I needed to start taking the amitriptyline again. Almost from the first dose, the sciatica went away. Occasionally, as I lie in bed, I feel a little twinge, reminding me that the sciatic nerve is still very much there!

I cried when Eric Zerbrugge broke up with me in junior high school. I’m not certain we had even talked to each other and am not at all certain how we were ‘going steady’, but he broke up and I showed the world (of the Zanesville junior high school) how badly I had been treated! I, and a group of girls, followed him and a group of boys, down the street, I was weeping and wailing, very theatrically (though it could hardly have been cinematic! My face doesn’t ‘do’ crying, prettily!)

You may wonder why I am putting myself (and you) through some of these memories. Yesterday’s prompt was about the reason for one’s blog. Mine is for my daughter (who is not really called Veronica but who doesn’t want her mother’s foibles to show her up so she chose a pseudonym for me to use.) Some time ago she asked me to write down all the stories I have told her about my life so she can pass them on to Chloe (grand daughter’s real name). So, here in my blog, are those stories. I didn’t have enough time yesterday so thought I would combine today’s with it.

*ie: young. I’ve always been short though not always little in size!😩

A “shadow box“, I believe, is like a deep picture frame displaying (in the above case) dolls. It had been taken down from its place on the wall, to be cleaned when I thought it looked like a jolly nice place to sit!