Through the many years I have existed, I have occasionally seen someone with a tattoo (or many tattoos) and considered whether I might consider having one and where would I have it.

I have always believed it would have to be small and out of sight.. Perhaps a tiny butterfly near an ankle or on a shoulder? Or, perhaps a little heart? Definitely no words! Aside from being fairly large, a word (a name?) might not be special enough in a few years’ time to warrant a place on my blemish-free(!) body. I mean, what if I had had Geoffrey or Dylan or whatever scrawled across my arm and then turned around in a few weeks and started going out with Joseph or Shawn!

And then there’s the pain!!! Why would I deliberately go to the trouble of asking someone to stick a needle many times on my arm or neck or backside (!) and then put an unknown substance under my skin into the needle holes? And risk germs and diseases and a hot, feverish arm, leg or upper lip (or backside!)

That may not be how tattoos are made but, as you will have guessed by now, I have not succumbed to the great pleasure(!) of carrying around a drawing or a name in a place, seen or unseen on my magnificent(!) body. What happens when my arm (for example) expands through the years? What would then happen if I dieted and lost weight? Would a tattoo on my arm first look like a gigantic butterfly then, with weight loss (and encroaching old age), look like a picture on a balloon which has lost all its air!

Now, at just under 83, I am so glad that I never really contemplated spending my hard-earned cash to do such a silly thing to myself.

[for information only – I have never gone out with Geoffrey, Joseph, Dylan or Shawn; my body had not been magnificent ever, though it wasn’t bad when I was younger; and, though I have no tattoos, I do have skin tags and other unsightly blemishes in my very old age! ]